Russian prisons renowned for their disgraceful conditions are cleaning up their act.
The Russian government is even offering package holidays for "sickos" who want to enjoy the prison experience.
Infamous prisons such as the Butyrka prison are being refurbished with sauna landscapes, sunbeds, spa facilities, mudbaths and ultrasound equipment.
A spokesman for the Russian Prison Authorities, Volga Olga, gave the following press statement:
"Russia is a trend-setter, instead of fifty prisoners locked up all day in a cell 5 metres x 5 without toilet, baths and beds, now prisoners can enjoy a 'life of larry' during their time behind bars!"
"In fact we have been inundated with requests from thousands of clochards, alcoholics, junkies, the homeless and general scum wishing to enjoy our facilities instead of freezing their butts off under a Moscowite bridge!"
"Also we are offering package holidays to 'sicko' tourists wishing to enjoy the prison feeling and our facilities are much better (cockroach free) than those on offer in many Turkish seaside resorts and Blackpool, welcome to the new Russia" she said!
So if you're at pains to find an exciting holiday destination for 2011, just get in touch with the Russian Prison Authorities at: www.lockedupinacellwitharussianserialkiller.web!
