England goalkeeper David James has been told by FIFA to make a decision on which hairstyle he will sport during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, and to "stick to it!" James, 39, the Portsmouth goalie who is about to jump ship and sign for Spurs...
There was a mixed reaction to England's storming 2-1 victory over Japan in their final warm-up game before the 2010 World Cup yesterday, as the sweet smell of success was tainted by the ghastly aroma of Frank Lampard shitting his pants over his penal...
Terry Butcher, the former England defender who courageously played on despite suffering a deep cut to his forehead during a vital World Cup qualifier against Sweden in Stockholm in 1989, has admitted in an interview that the 'blood' wasn't real, and...
The former Lord, David Triesman, the man who single-handedly derailed England's bid to stage the 2018 World Cup, has been involved in a new and even more scandalous scandal involving various comments he is alleged to have made in private to friends.
Paul Scholes has turned down Fabio Capello's offer to return to international football and play, once again, for England. Scholes retired from international football in 2004 with 66 caps After throwing a tantrum, Fabio calmed down and put on his t...
South African rubber producers are said to be "shit scared" of the impending arrival of the England World Cup Squad. Spokesman Thabo M'Johnnie said "We just don't know if we will be able to keep up with the demand. John Terry and Ashley Cole on the l...
Maths genius Carol Vorderman has unveiled a mathematical formula that proves that England will win the next world cup. Vorderman studied form and past tournaments in a bid to uncover the winner. "If you take all the facts into account the answer i...
Frustrated England armchair football fans who lost interest in Gareth Southgate's half-time opinions of the England V Egypt friendly on ITV, turned to the internet to check out the scores of other international games but were disgusted by the lack of...
Insiders in the Chelsea and England camps today confirmed that the Mohawk haircut sported by Chelsea skipper John Terry in the defeat to Manchester City last weekend, will be fully grown by the time the World Cup kicks off in South Africa. There w...
Katie Price has been named as the new England manager in a shock move announced earlier today at FA HQ in London. Speculation had literally reached fever pitch over who will take over the England Manager's position following Fabio Capello's being...
Wayne Bridge has pulled out! The left back says he does not want to shoot and he has opted for spilling it on the City of Manchester turf. "I don't want sloppy seconds. Ashley Cole, John Terry, all the others, they've all got stuck in before me. The...
Rio Ferdinand, the Manchester United defender who recently found himself the unwitting recipient of John Terry's misfortune when the Chelsea star was relieved of the England team captaincy, himself had the misfortune to lose the armband on Sunday - b...
Fabio Capello today proudly announced the name of the next English football captain today after relieving John Terry of the responsibility. It's none other than the star of classic TV show 'Rio Plays For Laughs' - Rio Ferdinand. The youth of En...
As the John Terry situation started to get out of hand today, with people on both sides of the rift starting to care, the Football Association this afternoon announced that it will hold a nationwide referendum over whether or not the Chelsea defender...
More bad news for John Terry this morning, after the Home Office issued an official statement saying that the Chelsea and England defender is to be immediately stripped of his UK citizenship after the latest 'JT scandal' hit newspaper front pages.
John Terry, the England and Chelsea Captain, voted Dad of the Year in the Pappies Sauce survey in 2009, has made the following endorsement of Pappies Sauce; "I use Pappies Sauce on my sausage, it makes me play harder!" As Chelsea seek the Prem...
The FA today changed its mind and decided that England would have a World Cup song to take people's minds off their inevitable failure at winning that competition. This is it: 'Three Lions' '[spoken] Alan Hansen: I think all these foreign players dominating English clubs is bad for our game Trevor Brooking: We're just not good enough, we only won in sixty-six by a fix It won't come home...
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