In a quest to find the natural father of "Blanket", one of Michael three kids, the family has ran across a Native American by the name of Windy Three Sheets. Windy, according to our source, once saved Michael Jackson and an older child's life, if...
Breaking news, which broke yesterday, but we made a bit of a mess of it, so we're back to make amends and present this item in a professional manner. Jermaine Jackson, who isn't German, but hails from Gary, Indiana, announced yesterday that he wil...
New York, New York - From the loft of her 'on again, off again' lover, aging thespian Robert Deniro, Janet Jackson, the singer who caused such an uproar with her wardrobe malfunction at the Super Bowl on February 1, 2004, has announced that she will...
After being laid off from his previous three jobs over the past three years, Donald Phelps of Cloverport, Wisconsin says he has finally found a 'layoff proof' profession...the funeral sciences. "There are so many boomers out there in their 60's n...
Scientists and the FBI have combined to find the sure way to find out who murdered Michael Jackson, although it will take awhile. "The wheels of justice and all that", stated Doctor Wayne Rogers, "but by two years from now, we may get a good view...
LOS ANGELES, CA - In an effort to raise money to pay for the King of Pop's funeral, the cash-strapped Jackson family auctioned off Michael's humanitarian record today to the highest bidder. Going once, going twice... Sold, to Marilyn Manson! Th...
According to Kristin Stewart, co-star Robert Pattinson has began acting very strange of late. "At first, I thought Rob was just screwing around, something he always enjoys, and singing some of Michael Jackson's songs. I mean Michael was great and...
Washington, DC: In a disturbing development a source close to the White House has claimed that President Obama is 'channelling' Michael Jackson. My source reports that in recent days Obama has been spotted 'moonwalking' and grabbing his crotch ra...
Glendale, California - They're back. Well at least for a few minutes anyway before they were all dispatched back to the netherworld from which they originated. I am, of course, talking about "The International 'Thriller' Tributary Dance Troop" that m...
Los Angeles, CA - According to noted snooty theatre critic and Hollywood gossip columnist, Smedley Laflame Esq., Michael Jackson, A.K.A. The King of Pop, was buried 50 years too late. Said Mr. Laflame, "Imagine if you will a world unencumbered by...
Apparently taking notice of all the Michael Jackson records flying off the shelf, singer Art Garfunkel admitted to faking his own death to get people to purchase his CD, "The World Mourns For Garfunkel". Art, who says his lawyer has advised him to...
Los Angeles - (Sleepy-ByeByes): A Charonesque Pisces full moon rose above Glendale's Forest Money Laundering Memorial Park on Thursday evening as the Jackson funeral cortege slid into view. The singer was being laid to rest in the gay end of the c...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Probate Judge Mitchell Beckloff finally approved payment for the expenses that are expected to be incurred by the long anticipated funeral of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, at a hearing Wednesday in downtown Los Angeles. Bec...
Glendale, California - With the burial date of the King of Pop having been changed so many times, Michael Jackson fans are uncertain as to what to do tomorrow, when his body allegedly will finally be laid to rest. "At least that is what is current...
Now that everything that could be said about Michael Jackson and the weird happenings around him, two vets from Texas have came forward and told the press that Michael Jackson's pet monkey, a male named Bubbles, had breast implants when he brought it...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA The numerous Michael Jackson sightings since his tragic death on June 25th gained credibility today when the Jackson family finally revealed that the reason he has yet to be buried is that his corpse has been missing since three...
Tempe, AZ -The right wing pastor of the Faithful Word Baptist Church who hopes that "God strikes Barack Obama with brain cancer so he can die like Ted Kennedy" has published a book of Christian based bedtime prayers for children. Pastor Steven And...
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