What a Production!

Funny story written by smurfette

Thursday, 3 September 2009

image for What a Production!
Stacks of cash awaiting dispersal for funeral expenses

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Probate Judge Mitchell Beckloff finally approved payment for the expenses that are expected to be incurred by the long anticipated funeral of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, at a hearing Wednesday in downtown Los Angeles. Beckloff explained that it had taken him nearly two months to sift through the voluminous details of the services as outlined in minute detail by the Jackson family.

Following the ruling, Jackson family matriarch Katherine was finally able to pay the last installment on her K-Mart layaway contract for her son's 14 carat gold casket and retrieve his body from cold storage.

She was also able to pay the major expense of creating an appropriate backdrop of smoke, fire and brimstone on the landscape surrounding Los Angeles for the funeral, which has stimulated the sluggish real estate market and the economy throughout southern California. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger expressed his gratitude to the entire Jackson family and officially proclaimed September 3 as Michael Jackson Day in California.

The airspace above Los Angeles has been sealed off by the family to allow AEG videographers exclusive access to the funeral. The privacy of the proceedings is being ensured by jets equipped with heat seeking equipment which can detect the slightest temperature change, which has required the background fires to be considerably reduced.

Glendale city officials have said the public costs associated with the burial, including traffic control and other police services, would be passed on to the family.

Police spokesman Tom Lorenz said the cost of police services for Jackson's funeral would be $150,000 at most. Under a contract with Forest Lawn, police will provide "elaborate" security, including dogs and air support, he said.

Jackson family spokesmen expressed confidence that their handling of Michael Jackson's death and burial will smash all previous Guinness Book of World Records entries in both length and expense.

"The expenses are extraordinary; however, Michael Jackson is extraordinary," said attorney Jeryll S. Cohen, who told the judge that the administrators did not object to the expenses. "They may not be appropriate for an ordinary person, but Michael Jackson was not ordinary."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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