Hollywood - Actress Lindsay Lohan is suing Romanian born tatoo artist Rudescam Butucelea after he tattooed her bottom with the logos of the big three automakers, General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler. Lindsay Lohan's representative is adamant that th...
Hollywood, CA - A photo of Miley Cyrus in an advanced state of undress and eating a banana and jam sandwich is likely real, according to an anonymous expert with the Center of Forensic Food Pathologists in Washington D.C. Said the source, "Analysi...
Los Angeles, CA - While citizens of Los Angeles celebrate the Los Angeles Lakers winning the NBA championship by rioting, citizens of Tehran, Iran continue to throw rocks at police and authority figures to demonstrate their anger towards a slanted el...
Washington, DC - As a result of President Obama executing a fly during a CNBC television interview, calls came in from the PETA organization, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, for the President's immediate resignation. "It's an outrage,...
Los Angeles, CA - A rottweiler belonging to a part-time Beverly Hills pool cleaner and illegal alien, Alberta Quinones, has adopted former Tonight Show host, Jay Leno. "My dog Murphy," said Quinones, "..is very protective. Once a little child trie...
London, UK - A family who donated their deceased father's liver to medical science is sadden by the news that it ended up on the buffet table of the House Of Lords as a pâté during the Queen's birthday celebrations, causing ten members to become viol...
London, UK - Irresistably studly Britain's Got Talent judge, Piers Morgan, has revealed himself naked with only a towel covering his nether lands and a gold medallion on a chain hanging from his neck; all of this as a result of an advertising campaig...
Las Vegas, NV. - Announced to day at the demiannual convention of Computer Software Pirates and Code Buccaneers, Mr. Xiao So Ping stated that Windows 7; The Blue Version, shall included a picture of Demi Moore in her birthday suit standing beside for...
Pinellas County, Fl - A man who fell from a cruise ship Monday morning was rescued after he was found clinging to a boy; a young lad who had skipped school to do some clam diving. The man, Nigel Linquist, 46, had been enjoying the scenery as the s...
New York, NY - Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced today that the city will start to cull 2000 Canadians. Citing security reasons for the , the mayor suggested that the cull may become an annual event. "Time and time again it has been proven that Canadians pose the greatest risk to American freedom. They take our jobs, our livelihood, our food, our women. And what do they give back in return? Not...
Kentwood, LA - Britney Spears is dating her agent, Jason Trawick. Mr. Trawick took a rather circuituous route to becoming the agent of one of the most powerful brands in show business, according to several sources. Beginnings Jason started out as a small Louisiana town used car dealer, selling beat up old Mazdas and Toyotas he'd find in the classifieds. At the time he worked under his birth...
Tehran, Iran - The results in the Iranian national elections are in and winner President MacMoody Ima Dinnerjacket now celebrates by handing out fake rocks, ordered from a special effects supply house, to his citizens. "It is customary," said President Ima Dinnerjacket, "...for the government to allow its people to celebrate the conclusion of an election. We support their efforts by giving them...
New York City - Six Flags Inc., one of the world's largest chain of amusement parks has filed for bankruptcy. Their mascot, Mr. Six, a breakdancing, old bald geezer, who bears a striking resemblance to Bush bailout guru, Henry Paulson, is currently o...
New York, NY - It has been revealed that internet sensation Justine Ezarik, is actually a 53 year-old postal clerk from Idaho, Rick Danson. Mr. Danson said that his first encounter with the internet as himself, a 53 year-old postal clerk from Idah...
Beverly Hills, CA - Reports are coming out of Los Angeles that the daughter of Sonny Bono and Cher is going to change her gender. Chastity Bono, born in...69, currently looking like she was separated at birth from the late comedian John Candy, has ch...
Miami, Fl - A Serial killer cat is stalking Miami and leaving the inhabitants quaking in their flip-flops. Miami-Dade County police have issued an all points bulletin regarding an unregistered Persian that goes by the name of 'Felix'. He is wanted...
Tehran, Iran - Iranian President MacMoody Ima Dinnerjacket says that if he loses the election Friday, he wants to tour with Susan Boyle. Speaking on assurances that his words would not hit the press until after the election, Mr. Ima Dinnerjacket s...
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