Written by Wire Piddle

Thursday, 11 June 2009

image for Serial Killer Cat Stalks Miami
Felix the Serial Killer

Miami, Fl - A Serial killer cat is stalking Miami and leaving the inhabitants quaking in their flip-flops.

Miami-Dade County police have issued an all points bulletin regarding an unregistered Persian that goes by the name of 'Felix'. He is wanted on several counts of murder.

The victims, mostly lonely widows over retirement age, have been all found dead in their condos after having picked Felix up and taken him to their homes, thinking he was a stray in need of a good saucer of cream.

Some of the victims have been hard to identify

"It's shocking really, to think such a harmless looking creature could have such a cruel and violent nature," said Lola Feldenstein, a resident of a gated community along the azure shores of South Miami beach.

"My tabby used to do a lot of things with Felix. They'd go out in the park together. It all stopped when he noticed how Felix used to pounce on squirrels and small children. Once we saw him infiltrate a daycare. He was disguised as a Disney character from Lion King," remarked Florence Lebowitz.

Roadblocks have been set up along the interstates in the hope of capturing the ferocious feline, a cat no one wants to see 'come back'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Serial Killer




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