Still feeling flush with power two months after losing the election, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is pressuring the Alaska legislature to pass a law requiring all male household members to put the toilet seat down after using. Since the invention o...
There was widespread condemnation from Hull City fans at Stamford Bridge today, over what they described as the 'unhygienic state of toilet facilities' provided for away fans at Chelsea. Some fans claimed the toilets were "not fit for animals", an...
Construction workers are anxious and investigators are puzzled as someone has been sending San Francisco's portable toilets up in flames in a wave of potty pyromania. "Shit Fire! It's an outrage," said Steven Edison, a 59-year-old contractor who h...
Celeberity Big Brother Tina Malone, the housemate with the foulest mouth ever to have been heard on the show, was welcomed back to her home town of Liverpool yesterday, and was immediately awarded the Freedom Of Her Own Toilet. The award, made by...
Hershaletta Henderson, 36, junior manager for Stringtown, Tennessee's Pamida store, told Stringtown Banner reporters Monday that she is very happy with her revamped work toilet policy, calling the poor-man's Wally-Mart company's previous guidelines "...
Washington,DC/ Porta Potty News - Sanitation workers in charge of the January 20 Presidential Inauguration say that 5 million Obama believers will be "shit out of luck" as the $40M event will only provide for 5,000 porta potties! That translates int...
London - A bogus toilet cleaner accused of not cleaning thousands of toilets, was jailed for more than three years by a court today. Toddy Mcquire forged his toilet cleaners qualifications and posed as a licensed toilet cleaner for nearly nine yea...
Damascus - In his latest video released to Al-Jazeera Osama Bin-Laden reveals that El Qaeda is not committed to overthrowing and destroying the West, this is just a step along a path to his ultimate objective - to replace Western-style flush toilets...
The Australian inventors of the waterless toilet have signed Kylie Minogue to head their pro-motion campaign. "It seemed right somehow", bubbled an excited Kylie, "after all, we are both solid Ozzy icons". Australia, land of increasingly severe d...
WASHINGTON - A large clump of mysterious so-called dark matter was seen floating in a toilet, scientists said on Wednesday. Scientists think perhaps 25 percent of the dark matter is made up of shit, which responds to gravity the same way as does r...
WASHINGTON - U.S. President-elect Barack Obama has offered Noddy Holder the job as Head Toilet cleaner, and the former rock star has accepted, a senior Democrat said on Tuesday. Before the offer becomes official, Obama's team wants to determine i...
London - The public mudslinging between Madonna and Guy Richie took another turn for the worse today when Richie told The Telegraph that "Madonna Doesn't Flush." Richie says he knew of Madonna's problem when he met her but married her nonetheless.
Scabies, England - New research has found that northerners are dirtier than southerners. The study, conducted by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, says the further north people live, the less likely they are to wash their hands afte...
Local man caves to mounting testimony from friends and admits he has used his cell phone while shitting but maintains it was only for texting and never while talking. Jeff Blake found himself cornered in the last seat of the bar with some of his...
Cape Canaveral, Fl. / Plumbing News - Just when everyone thought it couldn't get any worse, news circulated today that the Russian Built toilet on the space station has shit the bed, and cosmonauts are up to their ass in the mess. Complicating the...
After several years of study, and twenty blackboards, scientists at John Lennon's University, Liverpool, England, UK, the Earth have finally discovered the optimal length of toilet roll required to wipe any backside. "Basically," said Professor Ro...
George Michael, the popular singing star and the "am" bit of Eighties group "Wham" is to build his own private 'public toilet' in the garden of his London home, in, er, London. At a press conference following yet another arrest for doing naughty t...
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