The Australian inventors of the waterless toilet have signed Kylie Minogue to head their pro-motion campaign. "It seemed right somehow", bubbled an excited Kylie, "after all, we are both solid Ozzy icons".
Australia, land of increasingly severe droughts instigated a gov't backed grant scheme in 2002 to develop the product to both save water and help the environment.
The winners who trotted swiftly off with the development cash were a small Coober Pedy team of two Ozzy jokers, originally irreverently called NOSHIT, but now renamed a slighly more refined, BELLE-POO.
"It was a real strain" said CEO Eric Fluvia, "We divided the problem into what we called No.1 and No.2, the No.1 part was reasonably easy, without divulging the exact process, it is rather like an aircraft non-stick dunny, The waste is sucked into a chamber, spun dried, then the remaining matter microwaved to a fine dust, ready to use as a fertilizer".
It is understood that the No.2 part was much more difficult but has been solved with a co-operative wenture with South Hamilton Inst.Technology, in neighbouring New Zealand, who were working on a similar solution for cow wastyplops.
"No.2 was of course the god-awful smell, We solved that with cows by adding gladioli oil to their feedstock" said Prof."Stinky" Bovine, "we call it the 'Essence of Edna' effect. We now have a working party with the Aust. and NZ govt's to compulsorily add gladioli oil to all processed foods, it is virtually tastless, very cheap, and gives poo a faint but not unpleasant smell".
Patents are pending on the full process, the Aust. govt. are very excited and fully committed to the scheme. Overseas licencing is expected to be a huge earner.
Kylie has agreed to allow the product to be branded "The Mynogue" because its small, doesn't hum, and is as pretty as an Ozzy can be!
Kylie's campaign will also feature Clive James, as a dunny-sitter, his permanently squinted eyes were considered perfect for the part.
A second model is under development with the Japanese, who have much experience with "wash and brush-up" toilets, the product will obviate the need for toilet paper, as well as giving users a mild thrill.
To celebrate the product launch Rolf Harris is to paint the "Mynogue" dunny with Clive 'in-situ' for the Canberra Royal Art Park.
