Damascus - In his latest video released to Al-Jazeera Osama Bin-Laden reveals that El Qaeda is not committed to overthrowing and destroying the West, this is just a step along a path to his ultimate objective - to replace Western-style flush toilets with squat-method Islamic-style foot pads.
Bin-Laden says his hatred of flush toilets stems from an incident in his youth when he was visiting London with his family and faced with nature's urge to take a bio-break was shocked to see his first flush toilet. After an awkward abortive attempt to stand on the toilet seat and squat Bin- Laden finally resorted to sitting down.
Only after he had touched down did he realize that he was sitting in the warm, sloppy dingle juice of the previous stall user.
Overcome with rage the young Bin-Laden vowed that he would have his revenge and punish the West for "my pee-pee crime."
"First we must topple the West and then their ceramic abominations."
"Only then will the faithful be able to void themselves with dignity."
