Pamida Junior Manager Proud Of New Toilet Plan

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 15 January 2009

image for Pamida Junior Manager Proud Of New Toilet Plan
Part of Hershaletta's Master Plan

Hershaletta Henderson, 36, junior manager for Stringtown, Tennessee's Pamida store, told Stringtown Banner reporters Monday that she is very happy with her revamped work toilet policy, calling the poor-man's Wally-Mart company's previous guidelines "obsolete" and "not conducive to a healthy, productive toilet environment."

"With the old policy, there was zero accountability, no initiative to quit putting feces and boogers on the walls of the stalls, and no limit on how long you could sit in there reading an Enquirer or composing silly poems about the boss, except for the interruption of someone dancing and banging on the door", said Hershaletta, who spent the last ten weekends drafting the thirty-page document.

"The great thing about this policy is that it doesn't force a completely hectic toilet experience down anyone's throat. It's the perfect stepping stone to get to where we want to be three years from now with these toilets, even should Senator Craig drop by to use our facilities. That's all taken into consideration in my plan."

Hershaletta said she knew the policy was a success when no one responded to the office-wide e-mail she sent out describing the changes, but she did hear some shouting in the back.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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