Dateline Cairo, Egypt - A storeroom housing about three dozen ancient Egyptian fossilized farts have been unearthed inside a 3,000-year-old tomb during the latest round of excavations at the vast necropolis of Mimfft, twenty one miles south of Cairo,...
Cairo Egypt: An archeological expedition to Egypt's Valley of the Kings has reported finding a strange inscription inside the innermost burial chamber of a 3500 year old Pyramid. The inscription @*$! #%* was written on a wall. Dr. Jones the head...
The myths of the ancients tell and retell of how the sins of the leaders visit upon the innocent citizens a shitload of hell to pay. Even as in the Oedipus tale the hero is totally unaware of his transgression a plague can torment the people. Man...
Is Mustapha Kamir of 23 Pyramid Terrace, Cairo the unluckiest man in the world? On the weekend, ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair postponed his ascendancy to Pontiff, electing instead to aid Gordon "one-eyed Scottish idiot" Brown and Barack Obama in th...
University of Flat U Lence archeologist Ackmed I. Wuzza Arab described locating for the first time several fossilized farts in what is believed by Egytologists to be the actual "intestinal gas" left by Ptolemy the Winded. Applauding what Wuzza Arab c...
Cydonia - (Jean-François Champollion Mess): NASA's Mars Observer has sent back stunning pictures of the red planet's very own Vallley of the Kings erection in an area close to the pentagrammic D&M Pyramid in Cydonia. The famous Egyptian necrop...
Valley of the Kings - (Sarcophagus Mess): A world famous Egyptologist has slammed the latest pyramid scheme to raise archaeological funds by selling off bits of the Sphinx. Dr V Smart, Cuneiform Professor of Embalming Fluid Studies at Cairo's Arak...
Several hundred American tourists were freed in Egypt after their recent abduction by alien flying saucers that had stopped at the pyramids for gas. (The price of gas at Egyptian pyramids is cheaper than at Mexican pyramids because Egypt is clos...
The vagina of a 5000 year old mummy, just discovered in an overlooked antechamber of King Tutankhamun's tomb, has a fully functional vagina. Archeologist, Doctor Wendell Waddrippins, a modern day Indiana Jones, announced this amazing discovery.
When archaeologists excavated brick tombs outside a ceremonial site for an early king of Egypt, they expected to find the remains of high officials who had been sacrificed to accompany the king in his imaginary posthumous travels.
(Memphis Egypt) Famed egyptologist Dr. Zany Hogwash announced to a stunned world that King Tutankhamun owned an Ipod and a cell phone. The items were discovered in 1922 by the Carter expedition but were misidentified as kitchen utensils. King Tut liv...
Today's headline news out of Europe reports of archaeologists discovering an ancient skeleton of a young woman in the Greek city of Veria that apparently underwent a medical procedure known as trepaning (or trephining).
eGypt - The worlds most famous auction website is up for grabs on eBay with a starting price of just 0.99 p (gbp).
RAFAH, Gaza Strip (Reuters) - Paris Hilton's visit to the region culminated in a frenzy of Palestinian interest as she revealed her bush to startled crowds. Thousands rushed towards the gaping hole, as Egyptian troops shot high into the air, and...
CAIRO (FMLiveWire) -- Tens of thousands of happy Palestinian shoppers poured into Egypt from Gaza on Wednesday through new doorways in a 7-mile barrier near the border town of Rafah.
Nation's favourite avuncular chat show host, Michael 'Parky' Parkinson, 99, wants his final show - to be aired next month on ITV1 - to encapsulate all that the nation's sofa-dwellers love about him.
River Thames, London - (ArmageddinOuttaHere Mess): The Royal and Ancient Hellfire Club of Great Britain has been thrust into turmoil today as the Egyptian death god Anubis appeared on a sailing barge up the River Thames just outside Traitor's Gat...
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