5,000 year old Working Vagina Discovered

Funny story written by winston_smith

Tuesday, 23 September 2008


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for 5,000 year old Working Vagina Discovered
Doctor Waddrippins: "It was a release and relief apon the discovery."

The vagina of a 5000 year old mummy, just discovered in an overlooked antechamber of King Tutankhamun's tomb, has a fully functional vagina.

Archeologist, Doctor Wendell Waddrippins, a modern day Indiana Jones, announced this amazing discovery.

Apparently, the world famous king, King Tut, prepared for the afterlife by taking a 14-16 year old virgin with him.

Waddrippins was shocked when on opening the hidden chamber he detected a ripe, unmistakable, musky scent.

"At first I thought one of my colleagues in the dig, perhaps in her haste or zealousness had neglected some daily feminine functions. But as I slowly removed the enameled sarcophagus I knew, I just knew what was there."

Ancient Egyptians regularly mummified the bodies of Pharaohs, priests and wealthy citizens and sometimes their slaves, pets and even wives. The process and preparation of the body was to preserve it into their 'afterlife'.

"Obviously, "Twatankhamna" as we have affectionately named the mummy, was to serve her master, at his pleasure in the afterlife." said Waddrippins.

"The preservation actually worked tremendously well, considering the length of time this had been dry. Several simple hot packs, a well needed trim, an ample lathering of a personal lubricant, and the vibrations of a cell phone set the vagina into a yawning or gaping context. Sadly, the hyman was detached in our excitement of the discovery ."

Doctor Waddrippins was asked if it were theoretically possible to get this mummy to be a mommy.

"Unfortunately, Twatankhamna's heart, brain, and internal organs were removed and placed in clay jars to the side of the coffin. Essentially her function in the afterlife was just to 'do him'. Her mouth and tongue didn't quite hold up in preservation after 5000 years, but she does have a semi functional anus. Perhaps a bit chauvinistic but you have to remember the times. But believe me, it is a fully genuine, functional vagina."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more