Is Mustapha Kamir of 23 Pyramid Terrace, Cairo the unluckiest man in the world?
On the weekend, ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair postponed his ascendancy to Pontiff, electing instead to aid Gordon "one-eyed Scottish idiot" Brown and Barack Obama in the search for a solution to the global financial troubles.
Within hours of the announcement, a deeply-disappointed God unleashed a hail of small green frogs over the House of Egypt - or to be more exact, over one particular House in Egypt - Number 23 Pyramid Terrace in Cairo, owned by Mustapha.
"Eee", said a clearly upset Mustapha, "I'd just bin out n' 'ung t'bloody washin' on't line when all of a sudden, summat 'it me 'ead. I looked up in t'sky an' nearly 'ad me bloody eye tekken out wi' a bloody frog."
Within minutes, his back yard was knee-deep (no pun intended) in frogs, and his once-clean washing was ruined.
Then on Monday, Fijian Microelectronics announced the Orator Defence Shield - a laser-powered rostrum defence system which promises to completely eradicate the cult of "bunging a shoe" at a politician when speaking.
As a consequence, Mustapha was made redundant from his Supervisor's position at the Aerodynamic Shoe Corporation after shares were suspended.
"It's like I've got a bloody curse on us" said poor Mustapha. People tell us I should keep me 'ed up, but last time I tried that, a bloody frog near took out me flippin' eye."
