A new report published this year by urdata4us has revealed that 50% of people “just don’t get it”. It has been found that most people believe that at least one person in their lives “doesn’t get it”. A similar study counter-acted these claims by sugg...
The elephant in the room has taken his own life. He was suffering from clinical depression. He was extremely self-conscious, thinking that he makes others uncomfortable. He was always confused about people's true feelings towards him and he never understood his own place in this world. Sometimes people ignored him and sometimes he was the talk of the room either way no one ever really saw him...
Mr Lord God or 'The' Lord God has today announced his intention to step down from his role of being God for an indefinite amount of time. The news broke on God's official Twitter account and it had been expected for a number of weeks. He is due t...
Nicole Sherzinger has been very vocal on our televisions lately. Writhing in pleasure as she delicately slurps down some luxury yoghurts. Moaning in ecstasy as she glides her perfectly manicured fingers through her sleek and shiny lathered up man...
Peter has lost his hands and needs help finding them! He has offered some thing or another for the return of the hands but we don't know for sure because the reward notice he's been sticking to lampposts with his head are completely indecipherable. T...
Earnest Horn (man) went swimming in his local swimming baths in June 2010 for no real raisin. Most people would think that four years is just too long to be swimming in the pool but he said that 'Oh no that's fine'' and today was the perfect time for...
Poll results from the first six months of 2014 have shown a record number of deaths due to waiting. Indeed it has overtaken being sucked down the plughole, mass papercut suicides and having a funny turn. The most prominent offenders of death by w...
Imagine walking through town. You have a beard. The beard sits on your face. You realise this and so turn to look into a shoppe window hoping to catch a glimpse of you with your beard. There it is you think, still there. Anyway after this you turn a corner (as corners are notoriously difficult to navigate if one keeps walking in the same direction) and all of a sudden you are confronted with a her...
Shock and awe abounded today as the Romans returned to reclaim what they proclaim is rightfully theirs. They might have come from a portal or out of a test tube or something in a mad scientists lab but they are here and you should be scared! All of m...
The much feared and regularly used Trojan virus has almost turned the peotle of brittle into jabbering rex. They are almost ruined! The virus, which originated from the bowels of Sir Daleks Ferguson's corrupted memory system, was at first only intended for his Manchester United successor David Moyes, but it has spun wildly out of control, right across the country, like a wildfire! Its next...
It has been revealed today that renowned business magnate, investor, aviator, aerospace engineer, film maker, philanthropist and even world record holder Howard Hughes actually came out in 1973 but no one noticed at the time. He was probably the most...
The moment Steven Gerrard failed to control a team-mates' pass in Liverpool's game against Chelsea, almost two weeks ago now, Liverpool's title dreams went up in flames. Their misery was further compounded when they failed to secure all three points...
The most noble doctor of good standing and wealth you should see once a month if you're in bad health. He'll knock out the lights and just in one word instantly removes your vision with worms. He'll put you in a trance make you water his plants and whilst operating he'll play music and dance. All manner of disorders including head and the brain are dealt with quite easily in excruciating pain.
Lore! Speighk Mouses as he stanp aboven over hall peipule on his (it's) hell, clapping two timey baldy's with reel forfar and mites! Did thast not tillt that if thoi bayleaf yow wold seat yore wince troube saerfjour, adverturley? Goj walk special in evy dei und evvy weight. Him lies on sandy as a crator wretching him menanwomban frillock innernaround him gurrdjin. But thei shuld bay spayed on,...
In a bid to curb unnecessary discomfort, bewilderment and mild irritation a nationwide ban has been placed on all situations where a person may need to ask one or more strangers a basic question. The ban is expected to run for six months. Question...
Ordinary normally working everyday working-man Dave Marx has become the sensation of 2014 after sawing his legs off and then penning his very own ode to agony. It is thought Dave saw an episode of Jeremy Kyle and felt sorry for all those poor people who were forced to live lives with varying handicaps. He decided the only thing for it was to saw both of his legs off and then make a song about it t...
Tonight's World Heavyweight Championship bout between Eugene 'Swarfega hands' Smalls and Louis 'The Lepor' Trunks ended in farce as Smalls attempted to strum the tune to 'The Ballad of Richard Nixon' by John Denver and Trunks began some kind of upsid...
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