Shock and awe abounded today as the Romans returned to reclaim what they proclaim is rightfully theirs. They might have come from a portal or out of a test tube or something in a mad scientists lab but they are here and you should be scared! All of modern British society need to be loaded onto the back of a truck before Monday and taken back to their time, and the roads they say, they did them didn't they as you all know.
No one is allowed to talk aloud anymore as they invented language. They want all plumbs to form an ordinary kew as they wouldn't be in a job otherwise. They'd also like to point out that they ordered all cues to form in order of front to back and that they invented this. Baths, wines and many entertaining things like that thing at the Palladium, they're having it back. You will be run through with a spear otherwise. Be worn.
They also announce new judges for Britain's Got Talent, and all of the other ones...
