William Hague - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 31 December 2011

The New Year is almost upon us. All is well in my domain and life, but my personal assistant Lucien is in trouble again!

He's split a finger nail.

If the Argies take over the Falklands, I assume I'll convince my colleagues in the coming year to a attack the Falklands again, get several thousand soldiers killed, and get the Government back to being popular. Like when Maggie and I were in charge back in...er.. whatever year it was. It worked wonders for the Conservatives then, so I don't see why it shouldn't again? I just hope we have enough ships?

Oh, I must go now, Tarquin the gardener has just bent over to tend to his pansies.