William Hague - My Fake Diary

Monday, 26 December 2011

We gave the domestics an hour off yesterday.

My personal assistants Julian and Lucien, joined with the new cook Tarquin, and my butch protection officer the nice Nigella, in surprising me in bed this morning, with a presents, and shared breakfast with me, bringing their own utensils. I felt quite peaked, but happy by the time they had finished.

With the Falkland's threats now, I've had to sack my Argentinian gardener Juan Biggun, still I gave him something to remember me by this morning, and sent him on his way. Shame.

I see I've been named as the richest Member of Parliament this year, I hope this does not get leaked to the proletariat.