Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Roy Hodgson will name the England squad without me on Thursday after I picked up the injury, a horrifically-gashed thigh, suffered against Fulham the other day.

I bet the insurance companies were shitting themselves when they heard about it… he he he!

Still, it was less painful than being caught in bed with the super-totties!