Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Monday, 3 September 2012

BBC Report header:

Robin van Persie's stoppage-time header completed a memorable hat-trick to rescue Manchester United a victory over Southampton in a pulsating encounter.

I'm so glad for the git to have got a hat-trick...

And the talk of me leaving Man Utd is a bit concernin' innit?

Who could afford me? I ain't mastered talkin' English yet, so I don't wanna go abroad...