Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Euro 2012 One day to go to the qf v Italy.

Everyone is wondering why all the players are singing the national anthem at the start of matches as we never used to.

Basically it is because we all want to get an OBE when we win the tournament. We were all gutted we didn't get free tickets to the recent Diamond Jubilee concert at Buckingham Palace - I wanted to see Kylie in her panties, I mean hotpants - and we were told it was because we weren't singing the anthem, so we have put that right.

The only thing stopping me getting an OBE now is my dodgy offshore tax arrangements - a bit like that comedy fella Jimmy Carr!