Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

9am - Returned this morning from Alpha Zot Nine in the Nong Galaxy. Had been to a meeting with L Ron's brother.

10am - Had to get the DIY box out from the garage. Needed to fix the orange crate I stand on to kiss the wife good night. It had an accident on the way back from Alpha Zot Nine.

12pm - Met the wife for lunch at McTuckyKing on Main Street. Signed a few autographs and publicly praised L Ron a bit.

2pm - A bit worried when a young 11 year old asked why I give so much money to the Scientologists when I can get a PlayStation 3 for $300 which plays pretty well the same games.

4pm - Afternoon tea with the Mayor. Really must stop calling the mother-in-law these names. Just because she looks like a more male version of Rudi Guiliano,

6pm - It's egg and soldiers time at home. On a Tuesday we always have boiled eggs followed by maneuvers with the local Scientologist Army.

7.30pm - Took my driving test again. Ran over a car. These Sherman tanks are really hard to control

9.30pm Got the orange crate out

9.31pm Kissed the wife good-night

9.32pm Put the orange crate away

9.45pm Lights out and good night. That trip to Alpha Zot Nine really wore me out.