Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Dear Diary,
Well, I don't even care that Will Smith and Jaden won't talk to me anymore after their After Earth movie tanked. I am going to see if I can get the Church of Scientology to declare them Suppressive Beings. That'll show 'em!
I don't care about ANY of that because I'm excited that the Super Power Building has opened in Clearwater! Soon, besides possessing super-awesomeness, I'll have super strength, super speed, super vision, and the new Scientology sense of Super-oiliness.
I can't wait! I've already worn out three couches just thinking about it!
Love me,

Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more