Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Dear Diary - I miss Katie Holmes more than I ever imagined. I miss the way she looked at me with those puppy eyes and always asked me if she could get me a beer, or some Scotch, or a Hostess Twinkie.

I tell myself that I will be fine but I just can't get her succulent lips out of my mind. I guess I will just try and find a new girlfriend to replace her like Vice-President Joe Biden suggested I do when he and I had dinner at D.C.'s Burger Bandit.

I'll be fine. I'll be making another movie soon to take my mind off my sweet, lovable, adorable, erotic-as-the-dickens Katie.

Tom Cruise