The Pope - My Fake Diary

Monday, 6 September 2010

Dear Diary,

It's beginning to look as if I'm going to have to go ahead with my state visit to Britain after all.

I've tried everything I could think of to get out of it, but no one will believe a single word that comes out of my mouth these days.
I suppose that all my denials about my Nazi past has given people the impression that it's in my nature to lie through my teeth at every opportunity.

If all this lying doesn't work, I guess I'll have to go the whole hog and pray or something.

Don't get me wrong - the British are a fine people. Just look at the way they took their punishment as we Germans bombed the hell out of them in the glorious days of The Reich. With their cheery songs and jovial banter, often at the expense of our beloved Fuhrer. Rolling out barrels and doing hoakey-coakies in the midst of death and destruction is second nature to these people. And who knows? Maybe they've forgotten all that stuff by now. And I'm sure that that fine example of Teutonic Womanhood, their Queen, will make sure everything will be in order for a visiting fellow German. Holy orders will be obeyed at all times!