The Pope - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Oh dear God! I beseech thee. What have I done to deserve such a punishment. It's said that some of Subo's fans are planning a visit to the Vatican. Dear Father in Heaven, please don't send them here.

I swear I will resign as Pope if I find this to be true. Those are some crazy women (and I hear - a few crazy men too).

Deasr Father, I'd rather go to Afghanistan and entertain the troops than face these 'so called' Christians.

I know my fellow clergymen are getting a bad rap in the media lately. May I suggest a suitable punishment rather than the usual one of shipping them from Parish to Parish for their sins?

Let them meet with the Red Scarf Brigade instead of ME.

Assign each accused Priest a 'Minder' in the shape of a Red Scarf Member. Surely that is punishment enough. The Red Scarf Brigade will monitor every single moment 24/7 of each priest. They're very good at it and have had lots of practise with Subo. They'll even document bowel movements.

Get back to me on that my Lord and Master. I know you will answer my prayer. I may not get an answer straight away and when I DO get an answer - it might not be the one I want. Never mind Lord - all Christians are used to you by now. Amen.