Simon Cowell - My Fake Diary

Friday, 30 August 2013

Dear Diary - I just heard that my old show American Idol is having trouble filling the third judges slot. I find it hard to believe but it does not really surprise me.

When I was on the show I literally had a list of 50 well-known celebrities who wanted me to pick them to be a judge and now even Kanye "The Pest" West and Joan "The Moan" Rivers have turned down the judges offer.

Oh well, I guess America knows that my show X-Factor is the show to beat. Not even The Voice can bring in the numbers that my show does.

I am not conceited. I am just bloomin, bloody confident as I say when I'm back home in England.

Simon Cowell