Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Monday, 10 September 2012

I received a moving letter yesterday from a Nottingham pensioner, Bartholomew Utterswaithe:

Dear Mr Santa, I is sufferin frum mani alements un am broke. I du not drinc smock av any frends or av secks

I would like for yu to send a box of asps to Mr Camerum for me.
Fank you.

How nice…