Paula Abdul - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Dear Diary -

I am really sad, disappointed, and depressed that all of my musical groups have gotten eliminated from this year's X-Factor.

I told Simon that I truly felt bad. He grabbed my arm, tickled my tummy, and told me not to worry about it.

He said that I would still be getting paid the utterly ridiculous amount of money that he pays me.

Simon is so nice. If he was not already engaged to marry Mezhgan Hussainy, I would jump on his bones faster than Herman Cain can say, "Now, which bitch was that again?"

Paula Abdul