Paula Abdul - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Dear Diary -

Oh my goodness! I am so glad to be back on television I could just pee and guess what? I just did, but it's okay because right now as I type this I am sitting on a metal folding chair.

I love being back in the spotlight and getting to sit next to the man whose baby I would love to have...Simon Cowell.

Our new show X-Factor is doing well and we are going to kick the pants out of American Idol.

And I have promised Simon that I will act my age and not try to be cutesy like that freckled faced bitch Lindsay Lohan or that non-talented skank Paris Hilton.

Hey America...Paula Abdul is back!

Paula Abdul