Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 4 January 2009

Dear Diary.

Looks like they got O.J. this time. What an idiot! These guys talk him into stealing his own stuff back and one of them carries a gun.

He should get 20 years just for stupidity.

They tried that stuff on me. I got a letter telling me I had won three extra virgins in the afterlife if I would just come to Baghdad to collect the proper paperwork to fill out.

Can you believe they would try such a thing?

I mean, as it is with the 72, I'll have to be eating a pound of Viagra a day.

And if one pill goes wrong, you get a 4-hour erection. What if a pound goes wrong? I could spend a whole year apologizing to others with 72 virgins, informing them that it wasn't THEIR virgins that was causing my apparent arousal.

Plus, walking into an unseen object in the dark would be very painful.

Maybe I'll just keep a dozen and sell the rest on eGay.


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