Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary
Thursday, 1 January 2009
One of the men told me today was the first day of the new year as we sat around cave #2. Not only is cave #2 a good place for a bathroom, it's getting so that it it THE place to hear the latest.
So that was what all the shooting was about at midnight. I was hoping they had spotted some stray goats and we'd have something to eat besides roasted rat and lizard.
Even though I get sick of rat and lizard, I bet if I ever make it back to civilization, I will still want it from time to time.
It is an acquired taste.
(Later) Mohammed has surprised us all and returned from a long dangerous trip to bring us back some of those U.S. military sandwiches that last for five years. So we will feast this New Years after all.
(Still Later, still chewing)) Although the sandwiches were pretty good, they are very very chewy and the men have few teeth. We lost three who did not chew enough before swallowing. "Take a lesson from the camel", I tell them. "Ruminate awhile. I count to 300 before swallowing."
Somehow I think that sandwich will be with me for some time.
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