Noel Edmonds - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Dear Diary,

Last night was a bit of a mad one I will tell you that hehe, me and the "wanker" I mean "banker" hehe went out for a few drinks.

At first I suggested a nice quiet drink down the local ran by Tim Lovejoy near by my house but because the banker was wearing his skinny jeans, he wanted to go down Camden for a few.

After a few drinks, the banker was in the mood for something a bit more adventurous than our regular half a pint of shandy, he wanted to go clubbing and get some mkat, I told him the only cat I like is your wives hehe, he didn't laugh.

After he wedgied me a couple of times, I gave in and called up my old dealer, Mr Blobby who sorted us out with a couple of grams.

That's when the night got weird hehe.

All I remember is a pissed off ex deal or no deal contestant kicking me in the balls and a lot of birthday cake.

Same time next week then? hehe