"Macho Man" Randy Savage - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 18 November 2003

Oooooh yeah, the Macho Man decided to go to the movies today to see The Matrix Revolutions.

When I got to the lobby I proceeded to head straight for the theater when some ticket-taking punk stopped me and said, "Sir, do you have a ticket?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, so I flexed my bicep in front of his face and said, "HERE'S MY TICKET, BRUTHA!!! AND IT'S YOUR TICKET TO THE HOSPITAL IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN!!!" Needless to say he was awed by the power of the Macho Man, ooooh yeah, so I walked straight into the theater.

Well I took my seat at the back of the theater, you know it, because I get nervous when someone is behind me because you never know who might hit you over the head with a steel chair. Well the movie started and I liked it a lot, the robots shooting the robots and the high-octane kung fu action and that Monica Bellucci can be my valet anytime, OOOOH YEAH!!

Well towards the end of the movie I started getting angry, because Neo was taking a beating, oooh yeah. So I stand up and yell at the screen, "COME ON NEO!!! ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS FLY HIGH IN THE AIR AND COME DOWN ON AGENT SMITH WITH A DEVASTATING ELBOW DROP!!! GAME OVER, BRUTHA!!!!" Well the guy sitting two rows in front of me didn't like my outburst, so he turned around, put his finger to his lips and went, "Sssshhh!!!!" CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! HE "SHOOSHED" THE MACHO MAN!!!!! Well you know that wasn't going to fly with me, oooh yeah. So I stood up on the back of my chair and pointed my finger at him and said, "YOU'RE GONNA SEE THAT ELBOW DROP NOW, BRUTHA!!! DIG IT!!!!" So I leaped off the chair and delivered that elbow right to his mouth, ooooh yeah. Needless to say, he won't be shooshing anyone for a long, long time.

Unfortunately, as I dragged the guy outside to put him in a garbage can I missed the end of the movie. I'm just going to assume Neo and the gang lived happily ever after in a golden castle, just like the Macho Man. DIG IT!!!