"Macho Man" Randy Savage - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 15 November 2003

Ooooohhh yeah the Macho Man has a little bit of a cold today so I decided to stay in bed and take it easy.

So I ordered my assistant Pete to bring me some chicken noodle soup from my favorite soup place in town. Guess what happened? HE BROUGHT ME BACK CLAM CHOWDER!!! He knows the Macho Man is allergic to clams, oooh yeah. I reached up from my bed and grabbed him by the collar and shoved his nose in the soup and said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL THE MACHO MAN, BRUTHA?!"

Well let me tell you he got real scared, ooohhh yeah, and he said, "Macho Man, I'm sorry! I didn't hear you right! It won't happen again!" So I said, "YOU'RE DAMNED RIGHT IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN, PETEY!!! DIG IT!!!!" So I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed the ring bell I keep there to call my servants, oooh yeah, and then I BUSTED IT RIGHT OVER PETEY'S HEAD, OOOOOOOOHHH YEAH!!! Well he started bleeding real bad and while he was stunned I SHOT UP OUT OF BED AND ROLLED HIM UP IN THE SMALL PACKAGE AND GOT THE 1-2-3!!!!

Needless to say this was Pete's last day on the job, ooooh yeah. Now I need to hire a new assistant, one that can bring me the right soup when I ask for it and take a shot to the head from a ring bell without going into a coma. DIG IT!!!