"Macho Man" Randy Savage - My Fake Diary

Friday, 14 November 2003

Oooooh yeah the Macho Man was feeling a little down today so I decided to cheer myself up a little. It always brings a smile to my face when I put the crown on and become the Macho King once again, ooooh yeah.

While I was stomping around my house and waving my sceptre in the air I got a little hungry, so I thought, "What better way for the Macho King to get a quick meal than Burger King?" So I got in my Hummer, one of the old kind not that sissy H2, and headed down to get some fast food, ooooh yeah.

Well let me tell you I kicked those front doors down and shouted so everyone could hear, "THE MACHO KING IS HERE, BRUTHA!!!! I WANT SOME FOOD AND I WANT IT FAST, OOOOOH YEAH!!!!!"

Well everyone in the joint just stared at the Macho King like he was crazy, so I went up to the first cashier I saw, slapped him in the face and said, "GET ME A MANGER! THE MACHO KING WANTS SERVICE!!! DIG IT!!!" So the manager came running out and asked me if there was a problem and I explained to him that the Macho King wanted food and he wanted it now. Then you know what that little puke said? "You're gonna have to wait in line like everyone else sir." CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?? He had no respect for the crown of the Macho King, so I decided to take matters into my own hands, ooooh yeah.

I turned around like I was gonna leave and when the manager's guard was down I whirled around and HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH MY SCEPTRE OOOOOOH YEAH!!!!!!! Let me tell you he went down hard and I looked to the crowd for approval but all they did was scream. So I had no choice, I climbed up to the very top of the nearest soda fountain, ooooh yeah, pointed to the manager and pointed to the sky, then I LET THAT ELBOW DROP FLY, BRUTHA, OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH YEAHHHHHH!!!

Needless to say the Macho King got all the food he wanted and got it to go, oooh yeah.