"Macho Man" Randy Savage - My Fake Diary

Friday, 17 October 2008

Ooooh Yeah,

Today was like any other day, I guess, at least one where I kicked my puppy out of the way on my way to the tiolet. He yelped pretty good, he did, but when a beefy beer drinking man like me wakes up from a night of cheap beer drinking and a black out, he's gotta piss, you know what I mean?

I dressed appropriately for the business day with my shredded black t-shirt and parachute pants, a matching skull printed headband and even though it was overcast outside with rain clouds, a bright yellow pair of fat Oakley sunglasses.

My Chevy 4x4 with the axle lift kit started right up, but I drove over something as I backed away from the house. I didn't see anything at first, but removed my sunglasses only to see my neighbor, Mrs. Weinstein holding a leash attached to some sort of red grease spot at the bottom of my driveway.

In any case, the day went well at Savage Enterprises. 3 new desks were delivered to replace the 2 that I did pile drivers on the week before. That reminds me, I need to send flowers to the hospital for those 2 guys who used to work here. The extra desk is just a backup in case I decide to have a coaching and counseling session with any other employees this week.

I only ripped apart two shirts today, but I was sure to bring the baby oil in case I needed to go out in public. This afternoon it was back home early but not before stopping at Mr. Wongs for a little Almond Chicken and fried rice to go. He forgot my egg roll and I lost my temper again, ooooh yeeeah. Let's just say that Mr. Wong's cash register needs a little work, in fact so does Mr. Wong. I'm not sure how the doctors are going to get that thing out of his ass.