"Macho Man" Randy Savage - My Fake Diary

Friday, 22 August 2008

8.00 Boy man. What a start to the day man. Tried to pump some iron, but couldn't connect the hose inflator.Man!

9.00 Time for breakfast. Had three dozen eggs, seven sirloin steaks, thirteen sodas and then really sent the calories flipping, man, with one of your English Mr Kipling Cakes, I remember beating Mr Kipling in the Penge Smackdown

10.00 To ABC stusios to choreograph some wrestling for tonight man. Not like the MicMcManus days in your England where wrestlers had to wrestle. I'm meeting your Ballet Babe Darcey Bussel next week who's gonn help us out with some cool moves. Gawd, how I like the cut of her in that tu-tu. Soooooo Sexxxxxxy man, I could sweat some.

11.30 Meeting my friend Barak Obama for lunch. Gettin' really friendly with him man. Cometimes call him Bar, or even B. He's a cool dude in those shades. Played dominos with him and Jake the Snake a couple of months back. Kept saying "you could see the white of their eyes" to the dominos all the time. Hey man.

1.30 Great lunch with "B". I had the 2lb Rib eye, with a larg fries, onion rings (only three dozen), seven Ben and Jerries and seven pints of Bud. "B" had a muesli bar, celery and carrot juice. Man, he is over-eating. I told him so, especially in this election year. Hey man, go easy on the celery man.

3.30 Off to show my WWF belt to some kids in the Regency High at the end of town. Some 4 years olds want to learn self defence and how to throw people to the floor. I'll show 'em man.

5.00 Nearly dinner time. Only having a small snack tonight 'coz o f my large lunch. Will keep to a few nsteaks and a couple of pounds of fries only. Much watch ma weight.

8.00 Goin' to sit down and watch re-runs of Dallas for a few hours to take ma mind of-a things.