"Macho Man" Randy Savage - My Fake Diary

Monday, 21 December 2009

Oooh Yeah. Colder than a witches exposed knee cap out here in the crisp Minnesota air. Decided to visit my old buddy and former Governor Jesse Ventura. I had a little trouble finding his place, but once I pulled F-350 Deisel with the oversized tires on top of a couple of Hondas, I find his address just fine.

The name on his gate said "Big Dog", which I had a problem with, so I pulled up to the house, tightened the knot on my yellow bandana, pumped a few curls with the free weights I have in the back of the truck, and rang the bell.

He knew a smack down was coming, so he tried to nail me with a flying knee as I walked in, but I caught him with a steel chair upside the head, ooooh yeah. I always carry four things on me whereever I go. My wallet, bandana, condoms and a steel folding chair.

It was a glorius bout. Ventura had me pinned at least 9 times but on the third slap of the mat, I was always able to raise a shoulder. It was a pro match for sure, oooh yeah. By the twelfth minute, I had him in a figure four about ready to dislocate a couple of joints when he tapped out. "Who's the Big Dog NOW!" I yelled.

After exchanging all other pleasantries and courtesies, we settled into a nice lunch with caviar, egg salag with dill, and some Sushi with homemade soy. The lunch began to sound a little too pansy assed, so we blended our low fat frappe's with a little broken glass just to toughen up, oooh yeah.

The doctor says we'll both be back home after our bowel resections.

Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more