Kate Middleton - My Fake Diary

Monday, 1 August 2011

Oh my Lord! I have just been 'glued' to the television. I accidentally clicked onto The Jeremy Kyle show. Chrrrrist..where the hell does he find these 'knobs'?

Surely these people aren't for real? Well, I've never seen a person who looks like anyone I saw on his show. Where do they 'keep' these people?

What they were saying...well..I could just to say understand it. I do believe they were speaking SOME form of English but I DID have to click the 'subtitles' button on the remote control to be perfectly certain I didn't miss a word.

Amazing...a woman admitted she was having sex with her best friend's SON...Crikey....She looked old enough to be his grandmother....wrinkled skin..two teeth missing at the front...greasy hair pulled tightly back into a pony tail and TATTOOS!!!!

HE was no Prince William either. Skinny little sod with spots all over his face. He had all of his teeth as far as I could see...mind you..the poor bugger hardly got a word in because his 'girlfriend' and his mum were 'going at it like the clappers'.

It was funny when they both stood up and two burly security guards grabbed them as they were heading towards each other. Pity really! I would have enjoyed watching a good fight.

Oh! I hear Wills coming through the door! Talk later dear Diary.

from Soon-to-be-Queen of England.

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