Jesus - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

They say "you can't take it with you," but somehow, Ted Kennedy showed up at the Pearly Gates with a bottle of scotch in his hand. He was yelling and blubbering and just being a lousy drunk because St. Peter told him that he wasn't on the list.

The old sot is lucky that the clouds are soft, because he kept falling over and couldn't stand up straight.

I made a call to Angel Mary Jo and asked her if she wanted to see him outside the Pearly Gates before the Fire and Brimstone Express Train came by to pick him up. In response, she asked me if the train crossed any bridges on it's way to Hell.

I guess old Teddy's lucky that he medical care for the past ten years wasn't under the Obama health plan, because he'd have been avoiding the flames and pitchforks for nine years already.

Lucifer's really going to enjoy this one, because alcohol burns long and hot and he does have a lot built up in his system.

I remember when Old Scratch got his older brother, JFK, back in '63. He told him that he was sending him to a wienie roast in the Pig Roast section. Of course, it was his wiener that was being roasted by the soldiers he screwed over in the Bay of Pigs invasion.

Yeah, Satan will have fun with this one too. Teddy's earned his spot.

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