Gordon Ramsay - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Dear effing diary, why is everyone and their bloody uncle so f*****g obsessed about my bloody hair transplant. Christ, at least I had the f******g sense to take someone with me and make sure the transplant surgeon didn't write f*****g rude words, like WANKER on my scalp like what happened to the poor wanker I read about in the paper.

Actually, I did the transplant thing to cheer myself up after the f*****g trouble I got into in F*****g Costa f******g Rica.

I can still smell the f******g gasoline.

Well - gotta go and check my hairs. I have to count them every night. I'm now developing OCD. FUCK!