Gordon Brown - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Just a quick note. The bloody press are making a big song and dance that we are suppressing torture stories. What a load of bollocks, all they write about is my own personal torture. How can one man put up with Alistair Darling for so long, I'd rather be put on the rack than listen to another scheme to get us out of this depression. No sorry that was a slip of the pen - Not Depression. No the world is definitely not in depression. That's just me.

The love of my life has gone, ran away with an upper class twit. Now I'll never get to tell her what she means to me. Why did you have to go? Oh why? Oh Carol. I can't stop thinking of you.

Carol, what's 375 x 87 I'd ask in my dreams.
32625 you'd answer.
I'd melt.

Oh Carol. You've gone. All I have left is Countdown reruns.

Goodbye Miss Voderman. Enjoy your new life with Cameron.

Love you forever!