Gordon Brown - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Dearest Diary of Mine

God I'm so lucky to have been born me!

Dearest- Darling declared that he loved me more today, than he did yesterday.

In fact, the whole universe loves me because I'm a beautiful, witty, Scottish hunk!

Saving the world wasn't easy, especially with the nasty Germans and French saying bad things about me.

And please make a note, diary that I've taken that naughty despot, Robert Mugabe off my Christmas card list because he keeps killing his people with cholera.

But now that everybody does what I tell them things can only get better.

Must dash my diary -I'm off to the bankruptcy, 50%-off sale at Woolworths, to buy Obama a house warming present for when he moves into the White House.

They have a super JML toilet-brush for sale at £1.99, reduced from £4.99!

I hope that Mrs Obama will love it, because I really hadn't planned on spending that much on a present for somebody I hardly know!

And they say the Scottish are tight!