George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Dear Diary,

Well I had to change my phone number.

Gosh darnit! I just got tired of getting calls from Donnie Rumsfeld and Dicky Cheney at all hours of the day.

I declare those two fellas ain't got shit to do. Hell I work at a hardware store and when I get off work, I want to come home and just relax by watching Entertainment Tonight, drinking me down a few Lone Star Longnecks, and playing with Laura's cute little butt while she prepares our dinner.

I have not heard from Condoleezza Rice since that time down in Mobile, Alabama when I told her that she was so skinny she was starting to look like a piece of licorice.

Laura told me later that licorice is not a nice name.

Well gotta go, American Idol is fixing to start.

George W. Bush (The ex-El Presidente)