George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Dear Diary:

Who do I have to blow to get some good press for a change? That sumbeech, Obama, is really pissin me off. I start two little wars, just two...All of the sudden there's talk of indicting me for war crimes, as if I had the brains to come up with water boarding, or something.

God knows Cheney ran the country, not me. I was just the front-man!

My kids are better lookin than me, but just as dumb. Where'd they get that blonde hair, anyway? Nobody in my family has blonde hair. Laura claims they had their hair colored but I think they belong to that blond-haired, faggy assistant library prof she had in college.

I wish Dick would take my phone calls. He'd know what to do.