George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Monday, 2 February 2009

Dear Diary.

Who are you? I've been writing to you for years now, but still no reply. After that episode of "The Simpsons" I feel that I have to tell you everything, but why don't you tell me anything about you.

Sure, you might have a shit load of letters every day, but I just want a reply.

When I asked you should we go to war in Iraq, you didn't reply.

When I asked you what tie I should wear, you didn't reply.

When I asked you should I save all the black people in New Orleans, you didn't reply.

I had to rely on that Dick...Chaney to make decisions for me, and he is in allegience with the devil. And then there'd Laura, who hasn't been the same ever since we robotised her.

Now all I ask is, Was I a good President? Am I sending this to the right address? Why do my feet hurt? What is the square root of a carrot (I know its a root veggie)? Why is Obama President whenever his daddy wasn't? Who the hell is Bin Laden? Why did I get heckled for hanging that guy with the moustache for trying to steal my slinky?

Oh, and I tried Chinese food. It stinks.