Donald Trump - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 21 April 2019

Hello Diary,

I am the greatest person in the world and the most strong and beautiful person in existence. I am more popular than God, because he could never win an election against me. I know that he has never had as many people at his rallies as I have had at mine; in fact, I'm officially telling God that he's FIRED! So, since I've fired God, and have taken his place, I'm going to thank myself, me, Donald Trump, the nicest, and kindest God of all Gods that have ever existed. There's no collusion, and Russia was a witch-hunt! I'm going to exact my revenge against all of my weak and stupid enemies, the Dems, and the rest of the world. I've already written out, signed, and sealed a pardon for myself, for when I'm eventually tried and convicted for all of my numerous past crimes and acts of treason. So, when that happens, I win anyway, I always win! I've been thinking a lot, and strongly, during my unstructured time during the day. I've been looking over my list of things to do, that Vlad gave me when we met in Helsinki. He promised that my tower is going to get built in Moscow, and that it's going to be the most tall, and the most beautiful, and strongest tower ever in Russia and the world. I can't wait. I know it's going to be so tall, and even though it's going to be, I'm still going to lie, and tell people that it's at least ten to eleven stories taller. Jared is doing well with MBS, and I can't wait for all of that beautiful, big pile of laundered money to come our way. I can't wait to tell all of my Alt-right news friends that they are the only ones who will be allowed to print their beautiful news. The rest of the lying media is going to end up in trash bags. Well, diary, I could go on and on, and I will on my twitter account. So I guess that I have to say goodbye to you for now. My brain hurts, I think that I smell smoke, and I would like to sit down to a cheeseburger and some nice ice cream and a can of soda...