David Cameron - My Fake Diary

Friday, 4 May 2012

Boris has just sent me a text - do I need the number for a removal firm in the next few days?

Cheeky bastard - presuming he's referring to the local council results where we got tanked and the fact that my former staffer Andy Coulson and riding buddy Rebekka Brooks will be at the Leveson inquiry next week.

Not the greatest 24 hours of my political career. Now what's this rumour about Tony B Liar coming back to help out Milipuddle? For christ sake, thats all I need - a mentor to help the wet sap become electable.