Barack Obama - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Dear Diary,

It has not been easy being the President of the United States. All the meetings, the economy is in the toilet, fighting a war and my re-election campaign is just beginning. All this work is really starting to take a toll.

I'm afraid it has even started to wear on my relationship with Michele. We barely get to see one another outside formal events, and the last time we had sex was after watching the season 3 finale of Heroes. I really was starting to worry that my "little president" might never get to enter Michele's "oval office" again.

I talked to my buddy Rahm Emmanuel the other day to seek his advise on how I might spice up the sex life with Michele. He told me "If you want to get a lady in the mood, do what I do - slap your penis against the bedpost a couple times. It will make you harder and will make her desire your manhood more."

Well, I decided to try it last night. I came to the bedroom past mignight and Michele was already sleeping. I took off my clothes and slapped my rod against the bedpost nearest her head. She started to open her eyes and groggily said, "Rahm, is that you?"

I think it's a good thing Rahm went back to Illinois before I could get my hands on him!