Arsene Wenger - My Fake Diary

Monday, 15 October 2012

I read in the Mystic Meg column in the papers I will have £35 million to spend in January.

Is it from a endowment that I have forgotten about? A trust fund from a rich uncle? A lottery win?

I will buy a mansion in Monaco, with a swimming pool, and a pool table, and a personal cinema, and a jukebox. And have change to donate to those more needy than me (no, not Harry Redknapp)

Oh hang on, that's not Mystic Meg, its the chief sports writer for the Mail on Sunday (same hairstyle). I think he's talking about my transfer budget at Arsenal for the transfer window.